Avoidance Is Not The Same As Waiting On God Or My Google Approach To Prayer
2012
It’s been a prayer request of mine for years. Since I was 22 to be exact. A few years ago I told God (in a very nice way) that I was going to wait for Him to give me direction as to what I should do in this situation. And I waited. Or so I thought.
Truthfully though, praying about this unanswered request is painful for me. It brings up fears and memories and unbelief in me. So I don’t. I say quick “remember my request” prayers and move on. I avoid seriously praying about it unless circumstances make me desperate enough. Should I be surprised then that there is no answer? How could there be, if I am not listening?
I decided to face the fears, the pain that comes when I bring this prayer up to God. And so I prayed. Told God I was trusting Him to show up and guide me and I finished with up with “your will be done” and everything. It all felt very trusting of me.
Two minutes later and I am on my laptop “googling” possible solutions to my problem. Three pages in to my search results and I can feel the anxiety gripping me. How will God do this?! Look at all the strikes against me! What if He decides to answer it this way or that way? How would I cope? I can’t go through this again!
Hmmm. Not good.
I make a decision then. No Google. No “helping” God answer my prayer. Instead, only prayer. And waiting. I know the time for action on my part will come. But for this season, I need to be still and know that He is God. To listen for His voice, which I crave so desperately.
Promises I’m holding on to:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7
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First, even if you weren’t ahead of me I would have still visited you because of your smashing title for this post.
Second, Google prayer requests? Who me? Seriously, I can’t tell you how many times or situations I’ve prayed about something, and then got my fingers flying over the keyboard to figure out God’s chances.
Well-written, original post.
I’m currently reading Yancey’s book on prayer — helpful to hear from other fellow prayers who are a whole-lot-of paradox when it comes to prayer!! I’m actually going to post tomorrow on one part that really challenged me. Love this phrase of “google approach to prayer.”
What insightful revelations about who are we trusting if we are Googling and “trying to help God”! Yikes. Oh…how hard it is to bring our fears and tears to Him when praying is hard…..yes, praying is hard at times, isn’t it?
I too am spiritually dry and craving His voice…
Mari, even though you haven’t been posting a lot – it’s still nice to come back here and get a little bit of your gold. I think I get what you’re saying too. I have known for a while that the secret to peace is wanting God’s will, then praying for God’s will in any given situation, then accepting what happens as his will and being okay – or even MORE than okay with it. Knowing that because I prayed for His will, what happened is the best thing that could have – that which will make me most like Him. But lately I’ve noticed that I’ve done this for certain situations. Big. Important situations. But hesitating on making one grand prayer of it – “Lord, take my entire life, and do with it what YOU want.” The whole thing, every detail, to want HIS will instead of MY will, in every, EVERY situation, relationship, success, failure, trial, error, project, Google search, EVERYTHING. I’ve been praying for his will in some things – but clearly I’m still wanting to hold some cards, keep SOME control, why, why, so many years into my spiritual life, am I still work in progress. You are too. Diamonds in the rough… Still. God bless you Mari, I’ll still be here whether you write one post a day, or one per month, I’m really glad that I bloggy know you
happy Easter.